I'm am a procrastinator.
I hear that admitting it is the first step.
Which is where I'm going to stop. (cause i procrastinate. get it?)
Examples of what I do while not doing the overwhelming amount of reading I'm already behind on:
- skipping the third and fourth days of school (for a good reason, aka my grandma's funeral)
- not doing homework last weekend and instead spending time with my family, playing apples to apples
- watching tv shows online (hulu rocks!)
- reading books not on any booklist from class
- going shopping yesterday (ikea, target, dollar tree, barnes and noble) to pick up various supplies for the year like a pocket calendar, plunger, wall clock, cleaning supplies, groceries, etc
- chatting with friends (which is far more important than any course work)
- cleaning and organizing the apartment
- cooking meals and doing the dishes
- blogging
It's hard to believe that I'm back in school again. I mean, it's amazing how easy it is to tell people that I'm a senior M.Div student.
But saying it and having it sink in are two separate things. Because really owning up to it would mean that I ought to be reading for class and writing papers and working on sermons and doing self-care journals. Just to name a few of my assignments.
Because if I were a good student, I would not be procrastinating. But at the same time, I am more than willing to let myself really enjoy this school year and learn what I can. I'm just not going to be all perfectionistic and read everything that I deem unnecessary. It's all about priorities.
And for this procrastinator, being with people and relaxing are far more important than being stressed out because of deadlines.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Reunion at a funeral...
The funeral for my grandmother was a celebration of family in the midst of grief. I know that a lot of tears were shed at the prayer service, funeral and graveside. Personally, I both loved and hated the music since the songs were what caused me to tear up.
But it was a true joy and blessing to be able spend time with our family members. We imposed upon my aunt and uncle since they live close to the town where we spent a lot of time going to services at the Catholic Church.
Why were we so pleased with our family? Let me tell you
There are nine living children of Frank and Mabel.
Yup, nine who then had an even larger next generation of 27. That's right. 27 grandkids. And of course, I have never been with all 27 of us. Because, just like for this recent funeral, at least one is always missing.
But it is very exciting indeed when 26 of 27 are there. So we had a photo opp:
But it was a true joy and blessing to be able spend time with our family members. We imposed upon my aunt and uncle since they live close to the town where we spent a lot of time going to services at the Catholic Church.
Why were we so pleased with our family? Let me tell you
There are nine living children of Frank and Mabel.
(left to right)
Kendall, Teresa, Mark, Laura, Evelyn, Cletus, Eileen, Clyde, Loyson
Yes, Kendall (who happens to be my dad) is much taller than the rest of his family as he is actually standing on the same step as Laura...
Yup, nine who then had an even larger next generation of 27. That's right. 27 grandkids. And of course, I have never been with all 27 of us. Because, just like for this recent funeral, at least one is always missing.
But it is very exciting indeed when 26 of 27 are there. So we had a photo opp:
(starting in front left)
Rachel, Kara, Kiana, Kendra, Abbie, Sarah, Denise, Robin, Fran, Nicole
Kayla, KrissaMarie, Gina, Lisa, Brett, Josh, Heidi, Carl, Heather
Corey, Craig, Chris, Brian, Matt, Jack, Eric
not pictured: Scott
And the next picture we even let the great-grandkids in (not all were present). And no, not all of the kids are being held by their own parents. Some were claimed by other cousins...
add in Kira, Libby, Owen, George, Addison, James, Alison
not pictured: Cody, Nate, Katie, Lane
Don't we all look spiffy? We clean up good...
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
another long day
today started at 7:16 am. that was when i got a phone call from my mother. and yes, it woke me up. i love the confusion when waking up and thinking to myself that i was way too tired for my alarm to be going off and then slowly realized that the noise was actually my ringtone. the phone call informed me that my grandmother passed away. update since last posting: sunday she took another downturn. she likely suffered a stroke before she was taken to icu. then taken out of there since icu is intended for helping people get better and get out of their slump. but we (and by this i mean the family members who are in the medical profession) felt that she was not likely to make a recovery plus she signed the dnr. so they decided to do more to control pain and keep her comfortable. and sunday night, after the bad turn, they put her in hospice.
then i tried to go back to sleep but quickly gave up and decided to start packing since mom wasn't sure when the funeral was, but she thought it would likely be friday. and it is. so i'm glad i started packing and was actually almost ready to go before my class this morning at 10. and i also had to make phone calls to krissa to help her figure out when she would be flying back. so we set up a phone date for 11.
then off i went to class.
but don't remember anything since i was so exhausted and distracted.
then i called krissa and booked her flight for tonight. nothing like the poor girl getting her tickets ordered an hour before she had to start driving to the airport.
then i ate.
then i went back to my apt to finish packing and to load my stuff in the beast (aka the family's expedition). and i also unloaded a bookshelf i bought at ikea. and am super proud that i was able to move it in by myself. since the other day i could barely shift it. just no strength left after moving all day monday. which is when i moved back to seminary. and the same day i went shopping. but my strength returned for me to unload the beast since it was going to be heading home. cause i picked up krissa.
then i went to discipleship group and afterwards went to the internship debriefing. which i left early so that i could try to beat the bad traffic in minneapolis and get to sioux falls in time to pick krissa up at the airport. of course, the last hour was in the rain.
and i timed my arrival in sioux falls perfectly. rolled up to the airport as the plane landed.
then krissa and i took off on down the road to get home in parkston. in the rain and dark. not a fun combination. but we made it back home shortly after 10 pm
now we just get to wait for kiana to roll in sometime in the wee hours of the morning from wyoming.
then i tried to go back to sleep but quickly gave up and decided to start packing since mom wasn't sure when the funeral was, but she thought it would likely be friday. and it is. so i'm glad i started packing and was actually almost ready to go before my class this morning at 10. and i also had to make phone calls to krissa to help her figure out when she would be flying back. so we set up a phone date for 11.
then off i went to class.
but don't remember anything since i was so exhausted and distracted.
then i called krissa and booked her flight for tonight. nothing like the poor girl getting her tickets ordered an hour before she had to start driving to the airport.
then i ate.
then i went back to my apt to finish packing and to load my stuff in the beast (aka the family's expedition). and i also unloaded a bookshelf i bought at ikea. and am super proud that i was able to move it in by myself. since the other day i could barely shift it. just no strength left after moving all day monday. which is when i moved back to seminary. and the same day i went shopping. but my strength returned for me to unload the beast since it was going to be heading home. cause i picked up krissa.
then i went to discipleship group and afterwards went to the internship debriefing. which i left early so that i could try to beat the bad traffic in minneapolis and get to sioux falls in time to pick krissa up at the airport. of course, the last hour was in the rain.
and i timed my arrival in sioux falls perfectly. rolled up to the airport as the plane landed.
then krissa and i took off on down the road to get home in parkston. in the rain and dark. not a fun combination. but we made it back home shortly after 10 pm
now we just get to wait for kiana to roll in sometime in the wee hours of the morning from wyoming.
Friday, September 3, 2010
reunions
today i was fortunate to meet up with an old friend from high school. jenette and i could not remember if we had seen each other after i left to go to germany shortly before our senior year of high school. which was 8 years ago. cause we were both pretty sure that we haven't actually connected since then.
which makes me feel really old.
it was enjoyable to see her and meet her precocious little girl. who is adorable.
but it was kinda awkward to try to catch up on all that has happened in the past 8 years. cause what do you say?
here's basically my story:
"oh, yeah, my year in germany was fun. but we don't have too much time to talk about all that i did or saw or learned. and then i spent four years at college. and then i went off to seminary. and i was on internship working full time at a church. and now i have a year left before i'm finally done with school. pretty boring life, really. except for all the cool places i've traveled to, of course."
so much gets left out. because i could spent hours upon hours talking about the people i've encountered. or describe some of the beauty that i've seen in my travels across the world. or about some of the things i've experienced as i've grown older and prepare for ministry.
but 8 years is simply too overwhelming a time to really cover in about an hour
so we just basically enjoyed being able to see each other. and were happy to see an old, dear friend.
which makes me wonder what class reunions will be like...
we chatted briefly about some of her highlights of her life as well, but the toddler likes to be the center of attention, which means that whenever we started to get into deeper conversation, she wanted to shift the conversation back to her.
otherwise, my day was not so exciting. i spent the day trying to relax before heading up to mitchell to see grandma in icu. who has stabilized for the time being but is still not in the clear.
which makes me feel really old.
it was enjoyable to see her and meet her precocious little girl. who is adorable.
but it was kinda awkward to try to catch up on all that has happened in the past 8 years. cause what do you say?
here's basically my story:
"oh, yeah, my year in germany was fun. but we don't have too much time to talk about all that i did or saw or learned. and then i spent four years at college. and then i went off to seminary. and i was on internship working full time at a church. and now i have a year left before i'm finally done with school. pretty boring life, really. except for all the cool places i've traveled to, of course."
so much gets left out. because i could spent hours upon hours talking about the people i've encountered. or describe some of the beauty that i've seen in my travels across the world. or about some of the things i've experienced as i've grown older and prepare for ministry.
but 8 years is simply too overwhelming a time to really cover in about an hour
so we just basically enjoyed being able to see each other. and were happy to see an old, dear friend.
which makes me wonder what class reunions will be like...
we chatted briefly about some of her highlights of her life as well, but the toddler likes to be the center of attention, which means that whenever we started to get into deeper conversation, she wanted to shift the conversation back to her.
otherwise, my day was not so exciting. i spent the day trying to relax before heading up to mitchell to see grandma in icu. who has stabilized for the time being but is still not in the clear.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
crap
why is it that some days and weeks just seem to never end? and that there will always be stress and pain and waiting and frustration and exhaustion?
it's amazing to me that i'm still a generally optimistic person. of course, this is all by the grace of God.
so here's the latest rundown from my world over the last couple weeks:
after having fun in rapid city with krissa and libby (and by extension kendra and trevor), krissa and i traveled back to parkston. where we got her ready to move back to new york to start her third year at vassar. so we relaxed a bit and watched some movies, she spent some time with local friends, and we packed bags. we spent time with the pets. the household is now down to three pets since agent bill ticklemeister (bill for short) returned to new york to be the resident bunny. but it's still interesting to have two cats and a hyperactive dog.
last wednesday, krissa and i drove over to sioux falls. we met up with our cousin nick to enjoy a late meal before we all had to get to bed since we had an early morning. krissa and i spent the night in a hotel since we had to be at the airport around 5 am for our 6:15 flight. we then flew to newburgh, new york where mom and kayla (who had started driving the day before) picked us up before finishing the trip to poughkeepsie and vassar college.
we were there for a few days before mom, kayla and i took off to start driving home. kayla had to work on monday, so we were back in omaha by sunday evening. of course, we stopped at an outlet mall on the way...
then mom and i drove to sioux falls where we picked up a car from the airport parking lot, went back to parkston. on the way i stopped by to pick up my new glasses, which do not have nosepieces on them (oh, how i hate those stupid little rubber pieces).
that night i answered a phone call. my uncle clete informed me that grandma mabel (my paternal grandma who is 92 years old) was not doing so hot and was going to be eventually taken to the hospital in mitchell. so on tuesday, the day she went up and had surgery to remove some scar tissue, mom and i showed up briefly at the hospital. we also blipped out to eat two suppers. one with my dad and one with my sister kiana's boyfriend colten, whom i had never met until the other day. she was doing quite well. was a bit hard to understand when talking, but we figured that was because she didn't have her teeth in and because she was on morphine.
then yesterday i spent all day finishing up my approval essay. for those of you who are not aware of the process to be ordained in the evangelical lutheran church in america, we have something fun called candidacy. and candidacy requires that we have to put together a final essay that is 17-20 pages long with four parts to it. so i finished it up with the total of 19 pages. it was quite an ordeal to make it sound intelligent and coherent and worthy of a pastor...but it's done and turned in
and today, which i had been hoping to consider the official start of my vacation, began with printing off some paperwork to send in. and to hope that i'm completely done with internship now that everything has been turned in.
it continued with putting together a care package for krissa. techinically, mom did all the prep. i just helped remember to put in the sunglasses that got left behind.
then i was on my way to mitchell (again). this time to meet mom where she was dropping off the car that colten would be borrowing in order to go visit kiana, taking along the new license plates for her bubble. cause that's how we refer to her new car. it looks like a bubble. so it's the bubble.
then mom and i made a brief stop by shopko to kill some time before going back to the hospital. where we sat for a couple hours before going to meet dad and colten for their respective supper breaks. ate with dad. and dropped off something we forget to give to colten earlier for the trip.
in the midst off all this running around, mom is talking to krissa about the challenges she is facing. she is trying to figure out just how much of a course load she can handle while still trying to regain strength and go to rehab. so that is just another level adding to our stress. we have a lot on our plate right now.
then we returned to the hospital. when we got to grandma's room, two of my aunts were standing in the hallway starting to call all the siblings to let them know that grandma was being transferred down to icu. which is not a very good sign. so mom and i stuck around for longer than we originally intended to see if she would stabilize.
and so the waiting game is beginning. we don't know if she'll make it through the night or past the weekend. or she may pull through and live for quite a bit longer. but we get to wait and see.
i hate just sitting around waiting to find out what needs to be done. i hate hospitals. i hate not knowing whether or not my plans for the weekend or next are going to have to change.
some vacation...
it's amazing to me that i'm still a generally optimistic person. of course, this is all by the grace of God.
so here's the latest rundown from my world over the last couple weeks:
after having fun in rapid city with krissa and libby (and by extension kendra and trevor), krissa and i traveled back to parkston. where we got her ready to move back to new york to start her third year at vassar. so we relaxed a bit and watched some movies, she spent some time with local friends, and we packed bags. we spent time with the pets. the household is now down to three pets since agent bill ticklemeister (bill for short) returned to new york to be the resident bunny. but it's still interesting to have two cats and a hyperactive dog.
last wednesday, krissa and i drove over to sioux falls. we met up with our cousin nick to enjoy a late meal before we all had to get to bed since we had an early morning. krissa and i spent the night in a hotel since we had to be at the airport around 5 am for our 6:15 flight. we then flew to newburgh, new york where mom and kayla (who had started driving the day before) picked us up before finishing the trip to poughkeepsie and vassar college.
we were there for a few days before mom, kayla and i took off to start driving home. kayla had to work on monday, so we were back in omaha by sunday evening. of course, we stopped at an outlet mall on the way...
then mom and i drove to sioux falls where we picked up a car from the airport parking lot, went back to parkston. on the way i stopped by to pick up my new glasses, which do not have nosepieces on them (oh, how i hate those stupid little rubber pieces).
that night i answered a phone call. my uncle clete informed me that grandma mabel (my paternal grandma who is 92 years old) was not doing so hot and was going to be eventually taken to the hospital in mitchell. so on tuesday, the day she went up and had surgery to remove some scar tissue, mom and i showed up briefly at the hospital. we also blipped out to eat two suppers. one with my dad and one with my sister kiana's boyfriend colten, whom i had never met until the other day. she was doing quite well. was a bit hard to understand when talking, but we figured that was because she didn't have her teeth in and because she was on morphine.
then yesterday i spent all day finishing up my approval essay. for those of you who are not aware of the process to be ordained in the evangelical lutheran church in america, we have something fun called candidacy. and candidacy requires that we have to put together a final essay that is 17-20 pages long with four parts to it. so i finished it up with the total of 19 pages. it was quite an ordeal to make it sound intelligent and coherent and worthy of a pastor...but it's done and turned in
and today, which i had been hoping to consider the official start of my vacation, began with printing off some paperwork to send in. and to hope that i'm completely done with internship now that everything has been turned in.
it continued with putting together a care package for krissa. techinically, mom did all the prep. i just helped remember to put in the sunglasses that got left behind.
then i was on my way to mitchell (again). this time to meet mom where she was dropping off the car that colten would be borrowing in order to go visit kiana, taking along the new license plates for her bubble. cause that's how we refer to her new car. it looks like a bubble. so it's the bubble.
then mom and i made a brief stop by shopko to kill some time before going back to the hospital. where we sat for a couple hours before going to meet dad and colten for their respective supper breaks. ate with dad. and dropped off something we forget to give to colten earlier for the trip.
in the midst off all this running around, mom is talking to krissa about the challenges she is facing. she is trying to figure out just how much of a course load she can handle while still trying to regain strength and go to rehab. so that is just another level adding to our stress. we have a lot on our plate right now.
then we returned to the hospital. when we got to grandma's room, two of my aunts were standing in the hallway starting to call all the siblings to let them know that grandma was being transferred down to icu. which is not a very good sign. so mom and i stuck around for longer than we originally intended to see if she would stabilize.
and so the waiting game is beginning. we don't know if she'll make it through the night or past the weekend. or she may pull through and live for quite a bit longer. but we get to wait and see.
i hate just sitting around waiting to find out what needs to be done. i hate hospitals. i hate not knowing whether or not my plans for the weekend or next are going to have to change.
some vacation...
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