crap

why is it that some days and weeks just seem to never end? and that there will always be stress and pain and waiting and frustration and exhaustion?

it's amazing to me that i'm still a generally optimistic person. of course, this is all by the grace of God.

so here's the latest rundown from my world over the last couple weeks:

after having fun in rapid city with krissa and libby (and by extension kendra and trevor), krissa and i traveled back to parkston. where we got her ready to move back to new york to start her third year at vassar. so we relaxed a bit and watched some movies, she spent some time with local friends, and we packed bags. we spent time with the pets. the household is now down to three pets since agent bill ticklemeister (bill for short) returned to new york to be the resident bunny. but it's still interesting to have two cats and a hyperactive dog.

last wednesday, krissa and i drove over to sioux falls. we met up with our cousin nick to enjoy a late meal before we all had to get to bed since we had an early morning. krissa and i spent the night in a hotel since we had to be at the airport around 5 am for our 6:15 flight. we then flew to newburgh, new york where mom and kayla (who had started driving the day before) picked us up before finishing the trip to poughkeepsie and vassar college.

we were there for a few days before mom, kayla and i took off to start driving home. kayla had to work on monday, so we were back in omaha by sunday evening. of course, we stopped at an outlet mall on the way...

then mom and i drove to sioux falls where we picked up a car from the airport parking lot, went back to parkston. on the way i stopped by to pick up my new glasses, which do not have nosepieces on them (oh, how i hate those stupid little rubber pieces).

that night i answered a phone call. my uncle clete informed me that grandma mabel (my paternal grandma who is 92 years old) was not doing so hot and was going to be eventually taken to the hospital in mitchell. so on tuesday, the day she went up and had surgery to remove some scar tissue, mom and i showed up briefly at the hospital. we also blipped out to eat two suppers. one with my dad and one with my sister kiana's boyfriend colten, whom i had never met until the other day. she was doing quite well. was a bit hard to understand when talking, but we figured that was because she didn't have her teeth in and because she was on morphine.

then yesterday i spent all day finishing up my approval essay. for those of you who are not aware of the process to be ordained in the evangelical lutheran church in america, we have something fun called candidacy. and candidacy requires that we have to put together a final essay that is 17-20 pages long with four parts to it. so i finished it up with the total of 19 pages. it was quite an ordeal to make it sound intelligent and coherent and worthy of a pastor...but it's done and turned in

and today, which i had been hoping to consider the official start of my vacation, began with printing off some paperwork to send in. and to hope that i'm completely done with internship now that everything has been turned in.

it continued with putting together a care package for krissa. techinically, mom did all the prep. i just helped remember to put in the sunglasses that got left behind.

then i was on my way to mitchell (again). this time to meet mom where she was dropping off the car that colten would be borrowing in order to go visit kiana, taking along the new license plates for her bubble. cause that's how we refer to her new car. it looks like a bubble. so it's the bubble.

then mom and i made a brief stop by shopko to kill some time before going back to the hospital. where we sat for a couple hours before going to meet dad and colten for their respective supper breaks. ate with dad. and dropped off something we forget to give to colten earlier for the trip.

in the midst off all this running around, mom is talking to krissa about the challenges she is facing. she is trying to figure out just how much of a course load she can handle while still trying to regain strength and go to rehab. so that is just another level adding to our stress. we have a lot on our plate right now.

then we returned to the hospital. when we got to grandma's room, two of my aunts were standing in the hallway starting to call all the siblings to let them know that grandma was being transferred down to icu. which is not a very good sign. so mom and i stuck around for longer than we originally intended to see if she would stabilize.

and so the waiting game is beginning. we don't know if she'll make it through the night or past the weekend. or she may pull through and live for quite a bit longer. but we get to wait and see.

i hate just sitting around waiting to find out what needs to be done. i hate hospitals. i hate not knowing whether or not my plans for the weekend or next are going to have to change.

some vacation...