monday morning doldrums

i hate two things: mondays and mornings.

monday + morning = not fun

which means that right now (which just so happens to be monday morning) is not fun.

monday + morning - break = personal hell

which means that the monday morning removing break (my week off is over and done) is more than just not fun. it's horrendous. and hellish. and definitely not in a good way.

i mean, once i begin to interact with more people on campus, i'll be better. but for now, as i try to psyche myself up to get dressed and leave my apartment, i really hate monday mornings...

post black friday events

i love black friday shopping.

i remember fondly the early mornings where my sisters (and sometimes their boyfriends) would drive to mitchell in our pjs to get some good deals.

and we've collected a few fond memories. like standing in line for a computer while kayla later sees someone put a computer down later. or being given lists by people who don't want to or are unable to go shopping who want some sweet deals. standing outside waiting for menards to open (this was one of the highlights as you stand in a huge line waiting for the store to open). the crazy lines to check out so we would retreat to a part of the store where no one was in order to simply chill while other customers go crazy waiting in line.

last year was on my own where i went out later and didn't worry about getting up early but went out leisurely in bemidji

but this current year was also a bit different. walmart started their crazy good deals at midnight. technically 12:01. so my sister kayla and i ventured out in omaha (which is way busier than bemidji) at 11:30 and started to find the deals we wanted.

our goal: movies (for me since i like movies) and toys for libby. we had success. oddly enough, most of what we wanted we found in piles people had discarded. most movies were on the cardboard shelves, but a few were not. and most toys i found were just laying around.

people are either crazy mean or nice during black friday shopping. this particular round was nice. we chatted with people in line. and because kayla and i were shopping together, we could tag-team it where one would stay in line but the other would roam around. this came in handy for those all around us in line. like one lady who accidentally picked up blue-ray instead of regular dvd. so i went off and found them for her. then later kayla by chance discovered a barbie doll that another lady was happy to find.

we were back in the apartment by 2 am with most of our black friday purchases. we slept in and ventured out after 9 to menards, borders and target. we didn't buy too much of anything. which is something to be proud of. in fact, we put a lot back in those three stores.

overall, my haul was primarily movies. which i'm excited about. cause i loves me my movie watchin.

the other highlight was kayla getting me hooked on the merlin tv series. it's a funny, witty bbc retelling of the story of merlin and arthur as young men.

but i watched all the episodes she had on hand. so now i've moved on to legend of the seeker.

thanksgiving

it's amazing how some of our holidays are meant to be spent with family.

well, most of them, really.

i didn't go back to sd for thanksgiving. second year in a row. 

but at least this year i was able to be with my sister. i went to omaha and spent the day with kayla. we were invited over to jess' mom's place for the big meal. delicious roast beef. among other good foods like corn and apple pie. 

i still kinda missed thanksgiving with turkey. since this is the first thanksgiving i went without turkey. and i like turkey. so maybe i'll have to make some turkey when i go back to st paul. so i can eat leftover turkey for the next week or so...

i would also like to point out that i managed to write "turkey" in six sentences in a row

pre-pastor jitters

here is something that i've been thinking about.

pastors have the weirdest conversations. much like the ones i've been having lately.

and i'm not even a pastor yet.

why is it that people hear that i'm a seminary student studying to be a pastor and decide that the time has come for the pastor-in-training to hear their confessions?

sometimes it makes me laugh. like having people assure me that they've read the whole bible. or that they go to church. i find it somewhat amusing when people insist upon assuring me that they do all the right things to be considered a good christian.

other times it makes me scared. like having people confess their dark, deep secrets. cause i have no idea what to do when i hear about the issues from people's lives - marriages/divorces, kid issues, job concerns, etc. and it scares me to think that my future will be riddled with knowing the tough situations people go through and yet not having any idea of how to help beyond giving all concerns back to God...

but i suppose, that's the main job for a pastor to do: figure out how God is working as we figure out how to live, loving God and neighbor...

va beach

this past weekend i went to my cousin's wedding, which happened to be in virginia beach. our hotel was beachfront, which was awesome. saturday was 60s and sunny, which is about 30 degrees what i left behind in minnesota.

pics from our balcony on the fifth floor:

and on the beach itself:

and of course, can't forget the wedding party on the beach

More Pictures!!!!!!!

Here is a sampling of pictures that i (finally) took off my camera. Some are more recent than others...

Krissa's move-in helpers, aka the Vassar's Women Rugby team. 

Note: the men didn't help haul anything...

Minnehaha Falls in Minneapolis

Night of the Birthday Bash...traveled with the best sign and friends ever!

Winter Storm - Nov 13, 2010

Beautiful SD sunset

Three teepees built by the kids of Luther Seminary students

harry potter 7, pt 1

one word: awesome!

more words: i love the weasley family. fred and george in particular. so funny. was such a good movie. love the antics. and the relationships. i love the magic. and the struggle to do good and defeat evil. love the house elves. especially dobby.

of course, there were totally cheesy parts to the movie. which is to be expected in movies. cause that's what happens.

this was an enjoyable experience. saw it at midnight. waited for hours for it to start from the time i arrived at the mall/movie theater.

and of course, i can't wait until the final installment. annoying how i have to wait til june...

big news

why is it that life seems to either be rushing by or moving slower than a snail?

the beginning of this week seemed like it would never end. five days of school and classes this week with a major project to be completed as well as three different papers.

but then next week is thanksgiving break. five days off from school. although i will be spending some of those days working on essays or paperwork.

the first three days crawled by. then today happened. and time sped up.

time really does fly when you have fun.

i found out this morning that the faculty has approved me to continue on my merry way towards ordination. this means that i only have to impress the candidacy committee. wish me luck in early january!

but i also had a bittersweet time with my preaching/worship lab. this was our last time together. our lab is over and done for the rest of the semester. we had a good time but it's sad to let that fun end. of course, we still have class for another month. but it's not the same knowing we won't be spending two hours a week as a small group.

and the other excitement is the new harry potter film. i'm going to see it tonight with friends. we'll be traveling all the way to edina, which means that we will have an extra late night. but i'm super excited...and if i get around to it tomorrow in between classes and flying to virginia beach for a wedding, i'll post my thoughts. warning: i'm gonna love it. no matter what. i'm a harry potter fan and i know i'll love it.

i really should be packing for my trip. still have to decide on what to take with to wear to the wedding. have an idea, but still debating. and the sad thing when flying is that you have to pay to bring more than one option...so i need to solidify my decision and throw it in my bag. well, not throw. cause throwing leads to wrinkles. so fold or roll nicely.

that is all for now.

so much going on and i'm loving it!

dear minnesota

i hate you with your winter storm and your crazy drivers, two of whom were sliding on the road in front of me.

thanks for making me waste precious hours of my life yesterday driving at 30 mph for 2.5 hrs and having to add an extra 60 miles on my way back home to south dakota, which greeted me with sunshine as soon as i passed the state border. i did not enjoy making my typical 5.5 hr, 330 mile trip to 390 mi and 9 hrs. not cool in my book.

and just for the record, having several of inches of heavy snow does not constitute an excuse. that is what plows are for: to push snow off the road so i can drive home.

sincerely
kara

veterans and soldiers

happy day to remember, acknowledge and thank the many veterans who risk their lives to defend what the great nation stands for (aka freedom and liberty and rights)!

i will never be a veteran since i will never be a soldier (me and the armed forces' training don't mix well)

but i do appreciate what many men and women sacrifice(d) in order to fight for our country

i especially appreciate those friends and family who have the distinguished title of veteran - especially those who fought in the conflict zones of iraq, kuwait, afghanistan

here is a sampling (and i apologize to any names i neglect but will add if notified i forgot someone) of those who have donned a uniform:
kendall
trevor
chris
bob
carl
scott
eric
jeff
don
craig
audrey
brett
cody
bryan
brett w
corey
sally

closing time...

why that post title? well, the weekend is coming to a close...that and i love the song "closing time" by semisonic

i have decided to be a little but reflective tonight. usually i'm one in favor of funny, uplifting and nonsensical posts. but today, despite being in a very good mood, i decided to switch things up

the last few weeks i've been taking a long time to think about my future. where God wants me to go, where i want to go. what i should do. what my strengths and gifts are and where they might be most useful. the big questions that every senior gets asked. cause that's what happens when you are in your final year of school.

and yes, i have every intention that this be my final year of school for a loooong time...at least 5 years. taking the optional course may be okay, but not full-time status.

but back to the deep questions.

a few weeks ago i had a meeting where i was suggested to figure out some steps and habits i can start to develop in order to better equip me in ministry. little things to do, think or say when i start getting frustrated with other people or begin to feel defensive when i feel threatened. because such events happen. i'm not perfect; i'm human. and i get upset from time to time. i love people and God and want to spend the rest of my life working and serving, but there are bad days and there are annoying people out there. so i need to eventually figure out some beneficial habits.

here are some of my current thoughts:

1. confidence - don't belittle myself just because others look down upon me (or at least seem to disapprove since i seldom really know what they think). this is very important. it's not about being overly proud but instead about having confidence. and i don't mean self-confidence. no. this confidence does not come from inside me. this confidence needs to come from God. because i really cannot do everything that people want me to without possessing the gifts from God. confidence in my skills, my talents, my gifts, my interests is nothing without the faith that God is the source. that God has a plan even when i don't. far too often i get caught up in telling myself that i'm not good enough, that i could do more and be better. but that should not be the focus. the main point is that i'm really not good enough, but God is greater. and to quote paul: i can do all things through christ who strengthens me...

2. skills. and i'm not talking skills that napoleon dynamite talks about. i'm talking about the gifts for ministry that i already possess. the gifts and strengths that balance out any weaknesses. cause i really like something i was told at the beginning of the year: don't focus on your weakness; instead, use your strengths creatively to balance any weak spots. granted, that was not the exact quote, but the gist of it. and i found that to be eye-opening. i'm someone who has been bogged down in my lack of skills and experience, when really i should be changing my view. like my weakness of procrastination. which is not actually the case. i've often assumed that i don't like to plan and prepare because i put things off. but a few different things constitute what gets labeled as procrastination:
a) lack of creativity or energy. i've come to realize that i can do a lot of things and with gusto when i feel inspired and creative. i love brainstorming. i love thinking outside the box. i love plotting and planning. i love details. i love all that goes into starting something new or switching up the old. sadly enough, all these loves of mine end up forgotten when i feel dried up. and when i'm not buzzing on a creative high, i do nothing. literally, i will do nothing until inspiration hits. which tends to be at the last possible moment.
b) lack of follow through. closely related to lack of creativity and energy. when i don't feel the energy or drive or motivation, i let projects fall to the wayside. granted, i can see projects through depending on what it is. i hate leaving things undone. but i may not be able to have continuous progress over extended periods of time. everything happens in spurts.
c) last minute. i work well under pressure. i am at my best when my world is chaotic. i work best under stress. my head clears and i always manage to do everything i need just in the nick of time. some people tell me that everything would be better if i could do things earlier then keep revamping or redoing or redrafting or re-whatever. in other words, not do things at the last minute. but that's not me. like papers or sermons. for some reason, no matter how much i try to start by writing early, the final project is never anything like early drafts. i tend to start from scratch at the last minute anyway. so i've learned to spend more time taking notes and reflecting before writing final projects. which means that my final project tends to be quite coherent in logic and flows because i write it all in one shot. there are always things to improve but that's life in general. nothing is perfect.
d) room to improve. everything i do is not perfect. i still have much to learn, i still have room to grow. but it gets frustrating at times when perfection is the expectation and i know that as an imperfect person i will never achieve perfection; i can only do my best. and my best will always have room for improvement. but i wouldn't want it any other way. because i believe that the day we stop learning and growing is the day we die.

3. future. i have no idea what this will look like. i'm not omniscient. i'm not a fortune teller. i'm not God. but i do possess a strong faith that God has laid out a future for me. i just don't know what it is. but i know a few things. i'm on the right path right now. i'm in the place i'm meant to be at this moment. and i'm doing what i should be. but i have no idea what the future holds for me. and it's terrifying to think about the unknown. but i'm also super-jazzed. cause i love chaos and possibility. i hate stagnancy. i hate being bored with routine when i could be trying and doing new things. when i can be traveling, meeting new people, creating experiences. life is meant to be lived to the fullest, and in my particular case, life is vibrant and changing. others get to claim the constancy and contentment. i'm jealous of people who are already where they are meant to be and don't feel any pressure to change. i'm still working on that. i feel as though i'm standing on the edge of a cliff ready to jump off. terrifying but exciting. cause i don't know what will happen. i could hit the rocks at the bottom (doesn't sound pleasant). or i could end up in water and will need to either swim somewhere or let a current carry me (may or may not be pleasant). or i could somehow start to fly. which would be awesome. and i'm thinking that someday i'll start flying. i feel as though i'm preparing to soar but just haven't taken off yet. i know i'm almost ready but have no particular destination in mind. i'm willing to travel anywhere and experience anything. it's both frustrating and freeing to be able say and know that the future is open. i want to know but at the same time i don't because God always has far more in store than we could ever imagine, i just need to be open to going where the Spirit leads...

and now that my brain hurts from thinking so much, i'm going to retire and reboot.

all saints day

i love november!

today is the first day of november, which is the best month ever.

happy all saints day!

today also happens to be the day we celebrate and remember the saints. generally we remember those who have passed on within the past year. tomorrow is all souls' day. not sure exactly what the difference is...

so today, i will not just celebrate my favorite month but also take time to educate.

saints =
a. dead people. anyone who has passed on
b. good people. anyone able to perform good deeds.
c. holy people. anyone able to perform miracles.
d. living people. anyone who makes a difference in life.

in other words, saints can be anyone. but we (b, c and/or d) mainly celebrate the dead saints (a, b and/or c) on all saints day.

note: this is not the catholic understanding of saints, who are a and c. souls (tomorrow's holiday) are a and b.

so here are some saints (a, b and/or c) that i've said good-bye to this year and remember today:
derik
mabel

halloween weekend

so i'm pretty much lovin life right now. ok, not just pretty much. i am lovin life. i'm having a great time and have been back to a bubbly, smiley, happy personality.


here's the rundown of this past weekend, which was highly enjoyable. 


friday afternoon (after class, of course) i relaxed. if i remember correctly, i either napped or watched movies or bones episodes. or any combination. then i went to watch the first harry potter movie being shown at seminary in one of the high tech classrooms. then walked over to my former abode, bockman hall, to enjoy rock band. it was weird to be back in the dorm after being gone for a year and a half. to be walking around halls that are familiar and yet being unable to walk in the stairwells cause i'd be locked out. things have changed. but j made delicious food and d had a new keyboard for rockband, so it was a good time. and i left sometime around midnight because i was tired. it was getting to be a long day. that or i'm getting old.


saturday. slept in til 9:30. which may seem late to some but i had been hoping for 10-11 am to be my wake-up hour. watched more tv and movies (common theme in my current life, in case you haven't noticed). realized just after the rally to restore sanity ended that it was on. so i missed it. sad day... but i went over to the other dorm, stub, for pizzas and fun times with friends. we had a game of hangman going on. halloween themes, which included pop culture (witches, vampires, songs). then a bit o bananagrams. and i was surprised that i managed to win a couple rounds. also watched others make and decorate sugar cookies. felt old once again because i was tired by 8:30. but managed to stay up til 10:30.


sunday. woke up at 7:30 to get ready for church since i was told to meet at 8:45. turned out that jess (who i had to drive and pick up) and i were ready before the three boys. and had to wait around about an hour since the one who wasn't ready by 8:50 wasn't ready because the meeting time was supposed to be 9:45. which is a big difference. then went to church to celebrate reformation day. and will probably not go to that church, which is for all intents and purposes catholic with a little bit of martin luther tossed in. including the incense and kneeling while behind the altar for holy communion. ate at panera (delish). went to kohl's a bought a twins shirt. spent the afternoon watching bones. oh, how i love that tv show. so fascinating. also lxd (league of extraordinary dancers) which was both fascinating and disturbing. few words and a lot of amazing dancing. extraordinary dancing. also watched new in town, which is really cute. don't always like renee zellweger, but i love harry connick jr. and the fact that it was in minnesota complete with the awesome accent that exists in pockets of the state. 


in the midst of all my tv watching and food making in the evening, there were also trick-or-treaters. so i passed out chocolate. cause chocolate should be passed out on halloween. actually i chose my candy based on one criteria: would i eat the leftovers? 


and i said yes to chocolate. because no halloween is complete without chocolate. 


nor was halloween complete without seeing little kids dressed up. and there were some cute outfits. even some older kids dressed up. some didn't, but they had fun going around and collecting candy. so i gave them some.


but i'm okay with the fact that hallowwen is over. cause it also means that october is over. which means that november has started. 


i love november. best. month. ever.