still praisin God

this has been a very long week. nothing like losing a friend on monday. then going back to work on tuesday when only my world had been shattered. 

so i went in early with the intention of being able to talk with my supervisor cause i needed a pastor. 

then i sat through a text study with other pastors. some of whom i told just before it started about what was going on in my life. and i was amazed that i was able to focus during the discussion about the coming sunday's texts. then in the afternoon, pastor mark and i went for ice cream as part of our weekly meeting. it was nice to be out and about. 

then i went back to my house so that i could read more and prepare for a bible study on wednesday. and to pack and prep my car since i would be taking off right after the bible study to try and make it in time for derik's prayer service. 

wednesday was hard. it was hard to focus when my mind and heart were already back home with my family and friends who were grieving. the bible study went well since i've adopted an approach where i just let the people talk. and it means that i can take some time every once in a while to zone out. which i tried not to do. i survived. 

then i took off on the road. and drove in sunshine the entire way. since i left at 12:15, i didn't get to dimock (where the service was held) until 7:10. not bad in my mind. they were still saying the rosary when i arrived. so i snuck in and sat next to my mom and sisters (all of us made it back). it was a nice service. i didn't start bawling, but i definitely sat there with tears in my eyes. afterwards i went up to see derik. and i was struck that he really did look like he was sleeping and would wake up any moment. most funerals and visitations i go to are of the elderly whose skin looks discolored with the makeup. he looked at peace. 

my mom and sister had gone shopping to find a memorial of some kind that my family could give. and my mom found the perfect one. she had been looking for something music related since he was such a gifted and dedicated musician. but then she spotted a little boy holding up a frog. and remembered how my sisters and i would play with derik. how kayla and kendra in particular would spend hours catching frogs with him. or looking for snakes. or digging up worms. 

and we all realized that so many of us had focused on what derik loved for the last half of his life while ignoring the childhood. so we began to remember more of the stories and crazy antics we had done. cause catching slimy things was the least of what was done. because there was the time when derik married two of our siblings, krissa and cameron, when they were 2 or 3 or 4. somewhere in that age range. and none of us would let them get a divorce. cause only one of us older siblings could approve the divorce. and we didn't want to. 

then we spent some time in a park eating deserts and talking with people. i chatted with the only other of my classmates who was back. mike, who was derik's cousin and a pall bearer but also happens to be a second/third cousin to me (i never know how to classify relatives). 

since the funeral was in the afternoon, my sisters and i spent the next morning slowly getting ready. some slept in while others were up because libby, the 19-month-old decided that sleeping in would be bad. 

once again, we made it through the funeral. the worst part was watching the family walk out at the end. i don't know if i'll ever forget how his mom was leaning on his dad to walk. or how my little bro was crying as he walked behind his parents. 

it was over before i knew it. 

then the next stop was the hall where a meal was served. three of my sisters and i sat with some friends from high school. it was so nice to be able to reconnect with the boys i hung out with way back when. kes (and his wife), travis, and chad (and his wife). to be able to laugh. i also said hi to some other classmates of mine. 

then ki and i walked home since parkston is a small town. people stared as we walked dressed in black with heels. but it was good to be moving. 

my sisters and i took a picture of the five of us together in our black/white outfits. 

i spent friday with krissa and libby cause kendra, kayla and mom were all back at work. and kiana was already at the sd state track meet. poor little libby was sick all week and spent most of friday sleeping. with a short walk and play in the park. when it was ridiculously hot outside. then her other grandma and aunts came to pick her up. 

the other highlights of the trip: 

- watching "valentine's day" and "invictus" since kris and ki bought those movies

- going to the state track meet to watch ki jump for that last time at the high school level

- wearing shorts in 90 degree weather and working on some awesome tan lines

low points not mentioned before:

- being eaten alive by gnats. stupid pests...now i have bites all over my arms and neck...

- sunburned nose from the meet and the trucker's tan (you know how only one side of your body gets sun while driving...)

overall it was a nice trip as i got to see my dear old friends and family, no matter how crappy the circumstances had been for the reunion