splurge

i admit that i did not have such a good week. at least, i can honestly say that i've had better weeks. cause this was one of the more depressing and i struggled to function due to both rational and irrational anger, frustration and extreme dislike (cause i refuse to hate)...


to put it bluntly, i was not in a very good mood (due to many and various reasons too numerous to count...)


but fortunately, God has blessed me with some amazing friends and family that were willing to listen to me rant and rave and purge myself of most of my horrid emotions


that and some intentional time with bible in hand and a lot of praying


yesterday morning i took off for a quick trip to st paul. 


cause i really had to get out of bemidji. 


i think that this is partly due to the fact that the entire town of bemidji has become the bubble i live and breathe in. much like how the campus at both augustana college and luther seminary became bubbles from which i had to regularly escape, whether to go shopping or eat out or go to a movie or whatever


the other part was that i needed to be around peers.


peers who i do not feel are constantly watching me, judging my abilities, and being overly observant over what i wear or how i act. 


and it was fantastic. 


en route, i stopped by an outlet mall and perused a few stores in search of clothing since i guess my wardrobe needs some revamping. 


at least according to some in my congregation. and because i don't want to offend or fight over my right to wear clothes that the rest of my generation wears (because i'm a pastor now), i bought several new sweaters and shirts. 


i was bitter about that for quite some time, but God is giving me a second chance to approach this slight change with grace and a better attitude. 


for example, i love to shop. so i went shopping. i like having new clothes and not always wearing the same old things in my closet, so i went shopping. so i'm currently on a shopper's high


exciting highlights of my shopping spree: 
- 6 sweaters
- 2 long-sleeve shirts
- 2 tees
- new skirt
- two new tables at ikea (matching side table and coffee table)
- new wine stopper
- 12 bottles of wine (now i just need to have a party so i can drink it...)
- heart-shaped cake pan
- frying pan
- small glass candle plates (you know what i mean, the simple ones to put pillar candles on)
- clothes for my niece who just doesn't stop growing 


and of course, my trip to the twin cities was not just about the shopping. 


it was really all about my friends. 


cause i missed them and wanted to see them.


so i met up with mandi b (who went to ikea and the mall of america with me), katie e (who let me crash at her place, fed me pizza and banana pancakes and took me to trader joe's where i bought a lot of wine), and michelle (who hosted a movie night at her apartment where i also saw rachel, a friend from my camp days). as well as meeting a few new people.


so great to be able to share our stories and experiences since we have not seen each other since last summer (katie, mandi), last semester (michelle) or for a couple years (rachel). 


i have missed not having friends right next door. four hours is not really all that far, but is still too far to see each other that often.


and today i left st paul for another adventure en route to bemidji.


i stopped by cabela's where i bought some new boots. cause i hear that bemidji gets snow (nothing like stating the obvious as there is some on the ground and its only february and there can easily be snow in april since i live so far north in the tundra). and before someone lets me know that i should have bought snowboots last october, i did have some boots. i just bought some new ones. awesome ones that are supposed to keep my feet warm in -32 degrees fahrenheit. 


then i met up in baxter (which can easily be confused with its neighbor brainerd since they are essentially one town) with josh, a friend from my freshman year of college and the last two years at sem. who is on internship only 2 hours away yet we have not met up all that often due to our busy schedules. we chatted as we went shopping. and found some success in ice scrapers on clearance. cause we both know that winter is not over. 


so as i get ready to sign off for the evening, i am finally at peace. God is amazing and is definitely guiding me into some tough situations that will make me stronger. i just am scared of what will come if i struggled to handle this one


i hope that i will be able to update about how the band concert and the tubing (which will be a first time for me) go tomorrow